It was an unbelievable grind for a few years following this split. First of all, there was the matter of sorting out custody/visitation. Family courts, regardless of what jurisdiction you reside in, use the principle of acting in the best interest of the child. Sure, that can be a bit subjective, but I try to believe the intention is pure. However, this doesn’t mean the system isn’t beleaguered with biases and outdated guidelines established to protect against ‘deadbeat dads.’ Unfortunately, this was exploited in my situation. In Massachusetts, physical custody fully defaults to the mother if a child is born outside of marriage. Do you understand how much leverage that gives to the mother? From the moment my daughter was born, I was a shining example of what a devoted and engaged father should be, and here I was having to prove my capabilities, fight for visitation time and make all these concessions (i.e. increases in financial support, more driving) to establish what should have been rightfully mine from the start. This frustration nearly defeated me and I consider myself a pretty self-confident person.
Damon D’Arienzo/@singledadmagic
Damon D’Arienzo/@singledadmagic
‘I had to leave. I had to be a single dad to be a better father for my daughter.’: Single dad explains his relationship was ‘vulnerable, beyond repair,’ despite being determined to have a ‘strong co-parenting relationship’
