Despite these overwhelming and distracting feelings of disappointment and resentment, I never lost sight of becoming the best father I could be. Single parenting is still a grind several years later but I suppose that is what it should feel like when you are investing every possible inch of you in your child’s welfare and growth.
Whether it can be classified as intentional or not, I have always struggled being a victim of parental alienation. Not being kept in the loop about important school and health things, for example. Confiding in my ex about something personal our daughter shared with me only to find out she got scolded for talking to me about it. Using no phone communication with me as punishment. Telling our daughter the clothes I dress her in are ugly. One-upping me when the opportunity is there. Essentially, I’ve been treated like a secondary parent, instead of an equal. It’s infuriating. Here is the thing though. I have learned over time that a majority of these actions are solely because she is jealous and threatened by the relationship my daughter and I have. It used to consume me, but I’ve learned to not let it weaken my spirits or throw me off course. ‘Lead with love’ my friend has instilled in me, ‘that wins out every time!’ I’m done second guessing myself and worrying about things out of my control. Instead, I can use this energy to be a better father for my daughter.
Damon D’Arienzo/@singledadmagic
