{"id":438,"date":"2026-09-23T23:15:17","date_gmt":"2026-09-23T23:15:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/?p=438"},"modified":"2026-09-23T23:15:17","modified_gmt":"2026-09-23T23:15:17","slug":"three-days-before-my-wife-died-she-grabbed-my-hand-and-said-seek-your-first-love-and-please-forgive-me-after-36-years-of-marriage-i-was-not-prepared-to-discover-what-i-h","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/?p=438","title":{"rendered":"Three days before my wife died, she grabbed my hand and said, \u201cSeek your first love\u2026 and please forgive me.\u201d After 36 years of marriage, I was not prepared to discover what I had done"},"content":{"rendered":"

finally told us the words we had boths. feared to hear.<\/p>\n

The cancer had spread.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

There was nothing more they could do.<\/p>\n

During Linda\u2019s last week of life, I barely separated from her bed in the hospital.<\/p>\n

Acquire Biological Kits<\/div>\n

I would sit next to her, hold her hand and try not to think about what would happen when that hand was no longer there so I could hold it.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

One night, Linda suddenly squeezed my fingers tightly.<\/p>\n

Her voice was so weak that I had to lean towards her so I could hear her.<\/p>\n

Robert, you have to promise me something.<\/p>\n

I looked at her.<\/p>\n

He already had tears in his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever. Just tell me.<\/p>\n

Linda remained silent for several seconds.<\/p>\n

Then he gave a name that no one had mentioned to me in almost forty years.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook for Susan.<\/p>\n

For a moment, I thought I had heard wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cSusan?\u201d<\/p>\n

Linda nodded.<\/p>\n

Find her. When you do, you will understand everything.<\/p>\n

His hand began to shake.<\/p>\n

Then he added something that caused me a chill.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd please\u2026 forgive me in advance.<\/p>\n

I was paralyzed.<\/p>\n

Forgive yourself why?<\/p>\n

Linda closed her eyes.<\/p>\n

Just promise me you\u2019ll find her.<\/p>\n

I started asking you questions.<\/p>\n

Why Susan?<\/p>\n

How did Linda even know about her?<\/p>\n

What had he done?<\/p>\n

But at that moment, a nurse walked into the room and said Linda needed to rest.<\/p>\n

They asked me to come out.<\/p>\n

And for the rest of that night, a single name kept going around in my head.<\/p>\n

Susan.<\/p>\n

It was my first love.<\/p>\n

We were both around twenty when we met in college.<\/p>\n

Back then, I was convinced that she was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.<\/p>\n

Acquire Biological Kits<\/div>\n

We had been together for almost three years.<\/p>\n

I even asked her to marry.<\/p>\n

But about that same time, I received a job offer in another state.<\/p>\n

Susan didn\u2019t want to leave her family or her studies behind.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I could not afford to turn that opportunity away.<\/p>\n

We argued .ser ychfar dzb<\/p>\n

In the end, Susan told me she couldn\u2019t come with me.<\/p>\n

So I left.<\/p>\n

And that was the last page of our history.<\/p>\n

\n

Or at least that was what I had believed all my life.<\/p>\n

After Susan, I met Linda.<\/p>\n

We fall in love, get married, build a home, raise our children and spend thirty-six years together.<\/p>\n

I never imagined that, by this point in my life, I would hear Susan\u2019s name again.<\/p>\n

And much less Linda\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n

Over the next three days, my wife\u2019s condition quickly worsened.<\/p>\n

On the third day, Linda died.<\/p>\n

My whole world seemed to stop.<\/p>\n

When I returned home, everything reminded me of her.<\/p>\n

His cup of coffee was still in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

His coat was still hanging in the closet.<\/p>\n

The book I was reading was still next to our bed, with a marker between pages that would never end.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t understand how I was supposed to continue living without the woman I had shared with me for most of my adult life.<\/p>\n

Acquire Biological Kits<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

But as the weeks went on, Linda\u2019s last words resounded more and more strongly in my mind.<\/p>\n

Find Susan.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll understand everything.<\/p>\n

And please forgive me.<\/p>\n

Finally, I realized that if I didn\u2019t fulfill Linda\u2019s last wish, I would spend the rest of my life wondering what I had tried to tell myself.<\/p>\n

So I started looking for Susan.<\/p>\n

I contacted old friends from college.<\/p>\n

I searched Facebook groups.<\/p>\n

I called people I hadn\u2019t spoken to in almost forty years.<\/p>\n

Several weeks later, I finally found it.<\/p>\n

Susan lived in another city, about four hours from where I was.<\/p>\n

One Saturday morning, I got in the car and drove there.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

When I got home, I sat in the car for a long time.<\/p>\n

It had been almost forty years.<\/p>\n

What was I supposed to say?<\/p>\n

How could I explain to you that my late wife had sent me there?<\/p>\n

Finally, I forced myself out of the car and walked to the front door.<\/p>\n

I called.<\/p>\n

A few seconds later, the door opened.<\/p>\n

I recognized her immediately.<\/p>\n

Susan\u2019s hair had turned completely gray.<\/p>\n

I had wrinkles on my face, just like I did.<\/p>\n

But his eyes were exactly the same.<\/p>\n

He stared at me for several seconds.<\/p>\n

\u2014Robert\u2026<\/p>\n

I nodded.<\/p>\n

Then I told him about Linda.<\/p>\n

I told him he was dead.<\/p>\n

And I explained to him the strange final request he had made to me.<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n
\n

Susan\u2019s expression changed the instant she heard Linda\u2019s name.<\/p>\n

For several seconds, he said nothing.<\/p>\n

Then he took a deep breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I know why he asked you to look for me.<\/p>\n

My heart began to beat strongly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?<\/p>\n

Susan looked me straight in the eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cMany years ago, I went to get you.<\/p>\n

I was paralyzed.<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

She continued.<\/p>\n

I went to your house. But you weren\u2019t.<\/p>\n

He paused.<\/p>\n

\u201cLinda was.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I felt a frosty wave going through my whole body.<\/p>\n

Susan opened the door more.<\/p>\n

\u201cRobert\u2026 there\u2019s something you don\u2019t know. And I think Linda waited almost forty years before finally gathering the courage to tell you.<\/p>\n

He stepped aside.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo in. You better feel.<\/p>\n

I entered the house, without yet having the slightest idea that, in the following minutes, everything I thought I knew about my past was about to change.<\/p>\n

The continuation of this unusual story is in the first comment \ud83d\udc47\ud83d\udc47<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Susan took me to the living room and pointed to a chair.<\/p>\n

Explore Modular Sofas<\/div>\n

Sit down, Robert.<\/p>\n

The way he uttered my name made my stomach shrink.<\/p>\n

He disappeared in another room and returned carrying a small wooden box.<\/p>\n

It looked old.<\/p>\n

The corners were worn and the brass broom had darkened over the years.<\/p>\n

Susan placed her on the table between us.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve kept this for almost forty years.<\/p>\n

I stared at the box.<\/p>\n

What is it?<\/p>\n

Instead of answering, he opened it.<\/p>\n

Inside were several cards tied up with a faded ribbon.<\/p>\n

My name was written on every envelope.<\/p>\n

My hands were freezing.<\/p>\n

I took the first one.<\/p>\n

The lyrics were Susan\u2019s.<\/p>\n

The date was just a few months after I had moved.<\/p>\n

I looked up at her.<\/p>\n

I never got this.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n

I opened the letter.<\/p>\n

The first line almost made my heart stop.<\/p>\n

Robert, I made a terrible mistake. I should have gone with you.<\/p>\n

I kept reading.<\/p>\n

Susan had written that she missed me.<\/p>\n

Which I regretted rejecting my marriage proposal.<\/p>\n

That I had finished the semester and was ready to move.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I had written that if I still loved her, I wanted to start again.<\/p>\n

I looked at the following envelope.<\/p>\n

And then the next one.<\/p>\n

There were eight letters.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

Eight.<\/p>\n

All addressed to me.<\/p>\n

All unopened.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n

Susan sat down in front of me.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you didn\u2019t answer the first letters, I thought maybe you were angry. Then I thought maybe you moved in again.<\/p>\n

He swallowed saliva.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I went to get you.<\/p>\n

I knew what I was going to say next.<\/p>\n

But I wasn\u2019t ready to listen to him.<\/p>\n

Linda opened the door.<\/p>\n

My fingers pressed the letter.<\/p>\n

Susan continued.<\/p>\n

He said he was your girlfriend.<\/p>\n

I stared at her.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

He said you were happy. He said you talked to him about me and you didn\u2019t want anything to do with the past.<\/p>\n

I immediately denied with my head.<\/p>\n

I never said that.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know now.<\/p>\n

Susan looked down at the box.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut then I believed him.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t talk.<\/p>\n

The memories started to hit my mind.<\/p>\n

Linda and I had met shortly after I moved.<\/p>\n

At first we were friends.<\/p>\n

Then we started dating.<\/p>\n

I remembered talking to him once about Susan.<\/p>\n

Just once.<\/p>\n

I had told her that Susan had been my first love and that the breakup had almost destroyed me.<\/p>\n

Linda had held my hand that night and told me that some people were destined to stay in the past.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never questioned him.<\/p>\n

Susan continued.<\/p>\n

I asked Linda to give you one last letter.<\/p>\n

He put his hand in the box and pulled another envelope.<\/p>\n

Unlike the others, this one had been opened.<\/p>\n

Suddenly I felt my legs failing.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you read it?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

Susan nodded.<\/p>\n

He told me he would hand it over to you.<\/p>\n

I opened the envelope.<\/p>\n

The letter inside was brief.<\/p>\n

Robert, I came because I needed to tell you face to face, but I didn\u2019t have the courage to wait any longer. I still love you. If it\u2019s even a small part of you that still loves me, call me. I\u2019ll go anywhere. I\u2019ll start with you again.<\/p>\n

Below was a phone number.<\/p>\n

I stared at it until the numbers became blurry.<\/p>\n

I never saw this.<\/p>\n

I know.<\/p>\n

For the first time since I had entered Susan\u2019s house, anger began to grow inside me.<\/p>\n

Not pain.<\/p>\n

Not confusion.<\/p>\n

Ira.<\/p>\n

Why would Linda do something like that?<\/p>\n

Susan remained silent for a moment.<\/p>\n

Because I loved you.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t justify it.<\/p>\n

Thirty-six years of \u00a0birthdays<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t give you back those years.<\/p>\n

So my last wish is not to be forgiven.<\/p>\n

My last wish is that you can finally make the decision that I took from you.<\/p>\n

Find Susan.<\/p>\n

Listen to the truth.<\/p>\n

And if life gives you even if it\u2019s one more chance to be happy, please don\u2019t waste it because of me.<\/p>\n

Acquire Biological Kits<\/div>\n

Linda.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I finished reading, I was crying.<\/p>\n

Not in silence.<\/p>\n

I covered my face with both hands and cried for the woman I had lost and for the young man I once went.<\/p>\n

By Susan.<\/p>\n

By Linda.<\/p>\n

For all that could have happened.<\/p>\n

And for all that happened.<\/p>\n

Susan didn\u2019t touch me.<\/p>\n

She just sat there and let me cry.<\/p>\n

After a long time, I asked the question I was almost afraid to ask.<\/p>\n

Have you ever married?<\/p>\n

Susan smiled sadly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.<\/p>\n

My heart sank for reasons that I didn\u2019t fully understand.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was a good man,\u201d he said. We spent twenty-eight years together. He died six years ago.<\/p>\n

Choose Male Style<\/div>\n

I looked at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, did you have a good life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.<\/p>\n

That response gave me a strange sense of relief.<\/p>\n

Neither of them had spent forty years frozen in the past.<\/p>\n

Life had continued.<\/p>\n

In a different way than we once imagined it.<\/p>\n

Acquire Biological Kits<\/div>\n

But it had continued.<\/p>\n

That day I stayed at Susan\u2019s house for almost five hours.<\/p>\n

We talked about college.<\/p>\n

From the separated years.<\/p>\n

Of our spouses.<\/p>\n

Of our children.<\/p>\n

Of the people we had become.<\/p>\n

When I finally got up to leave, Susan walked me to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what will happen now,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

She smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe neither.<\/p>\n

For the first time all day, I smiled too.<\/p>\n

Six months later, Susan and I continue to talk almost every day.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we stay for coffee.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we just sit down and talk about the strange paths that life took us through.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what to call what we have now.<\/p>\n

Maybe friendship.<\/p>\n

Maybe something that still doesn\u2019t need a name.<\/p>\n

But I finally went to visit Linda\u2019s grave.<\/p>\n

I stayed there for a long time with his letter in my hand.<\/p>\n

He was still hurt.<\/p>\n

A part of me will probably always be.<\/p>\n

But after thirty-six years together, I also knew something more.<\/p>\n

A terrible decision didn\u2019t erase all the good years that came after.<\/p>\n

, vacations, illnesses, arguments, laughter, children, grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Order Birthday Gifts<\/div>\n

Had it all started with a lie?<\/p>\n

I felt nauseous.<\/p>\n

Then Susan said something she didn\u2019t expect.<\/p>\n

Robert, there is more.<\/p>\n

I turned around.<\/p>\n

He put his hand back in the box and handed me a closed envelope.<\/p>\n

This one was more recent.<\/p>\n

My name was written with Linda\u2019s handwriting.<\/p>\n

My hands started shaking.<\/p>\n

When did you get this?<\/p>\n

\u201cThree months ago.<\/p>\n

I looked at her.<\/p>\n

Susan nodded slowly.<\/p>\n

Linda contacted me.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t believe what I was hearing.<\/p>\n

He found me online. He told me she was sick.<\/p>\n

Susan paused.<\/p>\n

He apologized.<\/p>\n

I sat in the chair again.<\/p>\n

Explore Modular Sofas<\/div>\n

Did he tell you everything?<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.<\/p>\n

Susan watched me carefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said he had spent years trying to convince himself that what he had done no longer mattered because you had built a good life together.<\/p>\n

My eyes were burning.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut as the end approaches, he could no longer carry it.<\/p>\n

Acquire Biological Kits<\/div>\n

image<\/a><\/p>\n

I looked down at the envelope.<\/p>\n

Why didn\u2019t she tell me herself?<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I was afraid you\u2019d spend your last days looking at her differently.<\/p>\n

That hurt me more than I expected.<\/p>\n

Susan continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said something else, too.<\/p>\n

I waited.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said if you came looking for me, I should give you that letter. And then I had to let you decide what to do with the truth.<\/p>\n

I opened it.<\/p>\n

Robert:<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re reading this, it means you found Susan.<\/p>\n

That means I\u2019m not there anymore.<\/p>\n

And it means that the truth is finally where it always must have been: with you.<\/p>\n

He was young.<\/p>\n

I was scared.<\/p>\n

And I loved you so much that when Susan showed up at our door, I panicked.<\/p>\n

I knew you never stopped loving her completely.<\/p>\n

So I lied.<\/p>\n

I told her you didn\u2019t want her.<\/p>\n

I kept his letter.<\/p>\n

And I spent almost forty years repenting of it.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no excuse for what I did.<\/p>\n

But please believe this: every day I loved you it was real.<\/p>\n

Our kids were real.<\/p>\n

Our home was real.<\/p>\n

Every laugh, every ordinary morning, every time I held your hand because I was grateful that you were by my side\u2026 all that was real.<\/p>\n

I stole a choice from you.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\n

So I put my hand on the tombstone and whispered,<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you had trusted me enough to tell me before.<\/p>\n

Then I took a deep breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I forgive you.<\/p>\n

And for the first time since Linda died, I left without feeling like I was leaving something unfinished behind.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

finally told us the words we had boths. feared to hear. The cancer had spread. There was nothing more they…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":439,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-438","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/438","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=438"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/438\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":440,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/438\/revisions\/440"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/439"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=438"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=438"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailybites.delicedcook.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}